Who this guide is for
Parents, and other people involved in a child's life, in England and Wales who want to know who has parental responsibility, how to agree or go to court about where a child lives and who they spend time with, and how child maintenance works. It also covers the basics of getting a divorce or ending a civil partnership. Family law in Scotland and Northern Ireland is different.
What this guide does not cover
- Scotland or Northern Ireland: see the Scotland guide or the Northern Ireland guide.
- Protecting yourself or a child from abuse with a court order: see the domestic abuse court orders guide for England and Wales. If you or a child are in danger now, call 999.
- How a court divides money, property or pensions after a split, and defended divorces: ask a family solicitor or Citizens Advice.
- Adoption, special guardianship, fostering, and children in care or social services cases: ask a family solicitor.
- Surrogacy and parental orders: see the surrogacy guide.
- Maternity, paternity, parental or bereavement leave and pay, and flexible working: see the maternity, bereavement and flexible working guides.
- Child Benefit and other benefits: see the benefits guide.
- Whether you can get legal aid: see the legal aid guide for England and Wales.
- Court fees, how long a court case takes, and enforcing, changing or ending an existing court order: ask the court or a family solicitor.
- A child taken abroad, or about to be taken abroad, without agreement: ask a family solicitor straight away.
- How much child maintenance will be: use the child maintenance calculator on GOV.UK. This guide gives no rates.
- Challenging a Child Maintenance Service decision, and child maintenance where a parent or the child lives abroad: ask the Child Maintenance Service or Citizens Advice.
- Whether the court presumes that a parent's involvement is good for the child: ask a family solicitor.
At a glance
- The birth mother always has parental responsibility. A father or second female parent has it if they were married to, or in a civil partnership with, the birth mother when the child was born, or if they registered the birth jointly with her.
- Parental responsibility is about making decisions for the child. Having it does not mean you have a right to spend time with the child.
- Both parents must make sure the child is supported financially, whether or not they have parental responsibility and even if they do not see the child.
- If you cannot agree arrangements for a child, you can try mediation. Before you apply to court you must attend a mediation information and assessment meeting (MIAM), unless an exemption applies, for example domestic abuse.
- The family court can make a child arrangements order, a specific issue order or a prohibited steps order. A judge decides what is in the child's best interests.
- Child maintenance can be agreed between the parents or arranged through the Child Maintenance Service. Applying to the Child Maintenance Service is free.
- Divorce or ending a civil partnership is no-fault and needs at least a year of marriage. Wait 20 weeks for the conditional order, then 43 days for the final order. Sort out money and property before the final order.
What the rules depend on
- Where does the child live? England or Wales: this guide. Scotland or Northern Ireland: see that guide.
- What is your relationship to the child? Birth mother; father or second female parent (married to, or in a civil partnership with, the birth mother at the birth, or not; on the birth certificate or not); step-parent; grandparent or other relative. This decides whether you already have parental responsibility and whether you need the court's permission to apply.
- What do you need? Parental responsibility; where the child lives or time with the child; one decision you cannot agree on, such as a school or moving abroad; or child maintenance.
- Is there domestic abuse or a risk of harm to you or the child? If yes, you may not have to attend a MIAM, and you can ask for a protective order: see the domestic abuse court orders guide.
Parental responsibility
Parental responsibility means having legal rights and duties relating to a child's upbringing. The most important are to provide a home for the child and to protect and maintain the child. It also covers disciplining the child, choosing and providing for the child's education, agreeing to the child's medical treatment, naming the child and agreeing to any change of name, and looking after the child's property.
- The birth mother has parental responsibility automatically.
- A father or second female parent has it automatically if they were married to, or in a civil partnership with, the birth mother when the child was born. If the child was conceived through fertility treatment, they must also have consented to the treatment.
- A biological father gets parental responsibility if he marries, or forms a civil partnership with, the birth mother after the child is born.
- A father who is not married to the birth mother gets parental responsibility by registering the birth jointly with her (births registered from 1 December 2003). Same-sex couples have different birth registration rules.
- Otherwise, a father or second female parent can get parental responsibility by a parental responsibility agreement with the birth mother, or by a court order.
- Step-parents do not get parental responsibility automatically, even if they are married to the child's parent. They can get it by agreement (there is a separate step-parent form) or by a court order.
- If a child is born through surrogacy, the surrogate who gives birth has parental responsibility.
- More than 2 people can have parental responsibility for the same child.
- Married parents both keep parental responsibility if they later divorce.
By agreement: if the birth mother agrees, fill in a parental responsibility agreement (form C(PRA1)). Take it to your local family court, where it can be signed and witnessed, with the child's birth certificate and proof of your identity. HMCTS says you should both get legal advice before you make the agreement.
By court order: if you cannot agree, apply to your local family court on form C1. You need to be connected to the child, for example as their father, step-parent or second female parent. There is a court fee. You may be able to get help with court fees if you are on benefits or a low income. A child arrangements order can also give you parental responsibility.
Decisions when you live apart: if you have parental responsibility but the child does not live with you, the other parent must include you when making important decisions about the child's life. Routine decisions do not always need the other parent's consent. A major decision, for example moving abroad with the child, needs everyone who has parental responsibility to agree in writing. If you cannot agree, you can apply for a specific issue order or a prohibited steps order.
Agreeing arrangements for your child
- You can agree between yourselves where the child lives, when they spend time with each parent and other contact such as phone calls. This is sometimes called child custody or child contact. GOV.UK has a service to help you find a way to agree.
- A family mediator is independent and helps you both reach an agreement without taking either side.
- The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme can pay up to £500 towards mediation about a child, whatever you earn. It is a time-limited scheme that the Ministry of Justice extended in May 2026 for another year: ask the mediator if it is still available.
- Legal aid can pay for family mediation if you qualify: see the legal aid guide.
- If you are worried about your safety or your child's safety, mediation may not be suitable.
Going to court about a child
- You must attend a mediation information and assessment meeting (MIAM) before you apply. You do not need to in certain cases, for example if there has been domestic abuse, or if you are applying for a consent order (an order you both agree to).
- Apply online or on paper form C100 for a child arrangements order, a prohibited steps order, a specific issue order or a consent order. You can apply for more than one order.
- A child arrangements order decides where the child lives, when the child spends time with each parent, and when and what other contact takes place, such as phone calls. Child arrangements orders replaced residence orders and contact orders.
- A specific issue order decides one question about the child's upbringing, such as which school they go to. A prohibited steps order stops a parent making a decision about the child's upbringing, such as taking them abroad.
- These people can apply for any of these orders without the court's permission: a parent, guardian or special guardian of the child; a step-parent who has parental responsibility; and anyone named in a child arrangements order as a person the child is to live with.
- These people can also apply for a child arrangements order without permission: a husband, wife or civil partner (including a former one) for whom the child is a child of the family; anyone the child has lived with for at least 3 years; and anyone who has the consent of everyone with parental responsibility for the child. The 3 years need not be continuous, but they must not have begun more than 5 years, or ended more than 3 months, before the application.
- A relative the child has lived with for at least 1 year just before the application can apply, without permission, for an order about who the child lives with.
- Anyone else, including most grandparents, must first ask the court for permission (leave) to apply. The court looks at what the application is for, the person's connection with the child, and any risk that the application would disrupt the child's life so much that the child would be harmed.
- The court decides what is in the child's best interests. Before it decides, it may ask you to try mediation again or to go on a course.
- In England, Cafcass advises the family court about the child. In Wales this is Cafcass Cymru.
- If you or the child have suffered, or are at risk of, harm, the application asks about it.
Child maintenance
- You must have a child maintenance arrangement if your child is under 16, or under 20 if they are in approved education or training. Both parents are responsible for the costs of raising their children, even if they do not see them.
- You can agree it between yourselves (a family-based arrangement) or use the Child Maintenance Service. Applying to the Child Maintenance Service has been free since 26 February 2024.
- The Child Maintenance Service works out a weekly amount from the paying parent's gross income (before tax and National Insurance), the number of children they must pay for and other children they support. It can reduce the amount if the child stays overnight with the paying parent for 52 nights a year or more (shared care).
- Direct Pay: the parents arrange the payments themselves and neither pays collection fees. Collect and Pay: the Child Maintenance Service collects the money from the paying parent and pays it to the receiving parent. The paying parent is charged 20% on top of the maintenance, and 4% is taken out of the amount the receiving parent gets.
- If the paying parent does not keep up with Direct Pay, the receiving parent can ask for the case to move to Collect and Pay. The Child Maintenance Service can then recover unpaid maintenance.
- You can use the Child Maintenance Service if you do not want the other parent to know where you live or your personal information.
- Child maintenance payments do not affect benefits, including Universal Credit, and you do not pay tax on them.
- The government plans to abolish Direct Pay and change the collection fees from 2027-28. These changes are not in force yet.
Getting a divorce or ending a civil partnership
- You can apply if you have been married (or in a civil partnership) for over a year, the relationship has broken down permanently, and the marriage is legally recognised in the UK. You also need a legal connection to England or Wales, for example you both live here.
- You do not have to blame anyone. You state that the marriage has broken down irretrievably, and the court accepts that. Your spouse can only dispute the divorce for a genuine legal reason, not because they do not want it or want to delay it.
- You can apply alone (a sole application) or together (a joint application). The fee is £628 (the HMCTS fees list, July 2026; GOV.UK's civil partnership page still shows an older, lower fee). You may get help with fees if you get certain benefits or have a low income. On a joint application, you must both apply for help.
- The steps: the court issues your application; wait 20 weeks, then apply for the conditional order; wait at least 43 days (6 weeks and 1 day), then apply for the final order. Apply within 12 months of the conditional order, or explain the delay to the court. Once the final order is made you are divorced.
- Money and property: an agreement is only legally binding if the court approves it in a consent order (fee £62). Ask for it after the conditional order and before the final order. GOV.UK warns that asking later can have financial consequences, especially for pensions.
- If you cannot agree, you can ask the court to decide (a financial order, fee £321). You must go to a meeting about mediation (a MIAM) first, unless an exception applies, such as domestic abuse. An agreement made in mediation is not legally binding on its own.
Deadlines
- This guide gives no time limit for applying for parental responsibility or for a court order about a child. If you are sent court papers, they say what you must do and by when: get advice straight away.
Money figures
- Family Mediation Voucher Scheme: up to £500 towards mediation about a child.
- Collect and Pay collection fees: 20% for the paying parent, 4% for the receiving parent. Direct Pay: no collection fees.
- Applying for a divorce or to end a civil partnership: £628. Consent order: £62. Financial order: £321.
- This guide gives no court fees for child cases and no child maintenance rates.
Where to go for help
Child Maintenance Service: 0800 171 2345, Monday to Friday 8am to 6pm.
Family mediation: find a mediator on the Family Mediation Council website.
Domestic abuse: 999 in an emergency. National Domestic Abuse Helpline (England, run by Refuge) 0808 2000 247; Live Fear Free (Wales) 0808 80 10 800. Both free, 24 hours.
A family law solicitor: for advice on your own case and to represent you in court.
Citizens Advice (England): 0800 144 8848
Citizens Advice (Wales): 0800 702 2020
Traps
- Having parental responsibility does not mean you have a right to spend time with the child. Not having it does not stop you having to support the child financially.
- An unmarried father who did not register the birth jointly with the mother does not have parental responsibility until he gets an agreement or a court order.
- Most grandparents need the court's permission before they can apply for a child arrangements order.
- Child arrangements orders replaced residence and contact orders in England and Wales. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own law and still use residence and contact orders.
- The MIAM rule and form C100 are for England and Wales only.
- Collect and Pay costs both parents money. Direct Pay has no collection fees.
Sources (checked 2026-09-25)
- GOV.UK Parental rights and responsibilities (what it is; separated parents: no right to spend time, include in important decisions, routine decisions, major decisions in writing, specific issue / prohibited steps; who has it: birth mother, married or civil partner at birth, fertility treatment consent, marriage after birth, joint registration, same-sex rules, surrogacy, step-parents; apply: connected to the child, more than 2 people, C(PRA1) signed and witnessed at the family court with birth certificate and ID, C1, help with fees, child arrangements order can give PR) - national archives copy 6 May 2026, checked 25 Sep 2026
- GOV.UK / HM Passport Office caseworker guidance 'Parental responsibility: birth parents, adoption and surrogacy' (Mar 2026) + legislation.gov.uk / Law Gazette on ACA 2002 s111 (joint registration gives PR for births registered on or after 1 Dec 2003, not retrospective); GOV.UK Parental rights (2020 text) - both keep PR if they later divorce
- GOV.UK form C(PRA1) page (HMCTS: both should get legal advice before the agreement); Cafcass: applying for an order that gives you PR (C1 to the local family court; step-parent / second female parent)
- GOV.UK Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate: overview (agree yourselves, 'child custody' / 'child contact', get help finding an option, mediation voucher up to £500 whatever you earn), apply for a court order (MIAM unless exemption e.g. domestic abuse or consent order; online or C100; child arrangements / prohibited steps / specific issue / consent order; help with fees), types of court order (CAO decides where the child lives, time with each parent, other contact; replaced residence and contact orders; mediation again or a course)
- GOV.UK news 15 May 2026: Families spared time and money during separation thanks to Government action (Family Mediation Voucher Scheme extended for another year, up to 500 pounds towards mediation) - checked 26 Sep 2026
- legislation.gov.uk Children Act 1989 s10(4), (5), (5B), (9), (10) (who may apply without leave; relatives 1 year; leave criteria; 3 years within 5 / 3 months)
- Cafcass (cafcass.gov.uk): private law mediation page (mediator independent; not suitable in every case) and factsheet
- GOV.UK Child Maintenance Service: what child maintenance is (under 16 / under 20 approved education or training; both responsible even if they do not see the child; use without revealing location; no effect on benefits incl. UC; no tax); child-maintenance.service.gov.uk contact page (0800 171 2345, Mon-Fri 8am-6pm)
- legislation.gov.uk EM to SI 2024/87 + Commons Library (application fee removed 26 Feb 2024); GOV.UK CMS statistics to March 2026 (Direct Pay no fees; Collect and Pay 20% / 4%; switch when payments not kept up; recovery of unpaid maintenance); Commons Library 8 Jul 2026 (plans from 2027-28: Direct Pay abolished, fees change - not in force)
- GOV.UK How the Child Maintenance Service works out child maintenance (gross income, other children, weekly amount, shared care 52 nights a year or more)
- Citizens Advice England 0800 144 8848 / Wales 0800 702 2020; National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247; Live Fear Free 0808 80 10 800; legal aid guide wording on family mediation
- GOV.UK: Get a divorce (all pages: married over a year; sole or joint; GBP 628 fee; help with fees; 20 weeks; 43 days; final order within 12 months; disputing only for a legal reason); Money and property when a relationship ends (consent order GBP 62 between conditional and final order, pensions warning; financial order GBP 321 on Form A; MIAM first; mediation agreement not binding); EX50 Civil and family court fees (updated 13 July 2026). legislation.gov.uk: Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 s.1 (statement that the marriage has broken down irretrievably) and s.3 (no application in the first year of marriage). Checked 11 October 2026.